Putting the "Social" Back in Social Media
It feels GREAT to be blogging again, y’all. :)
Welcome to my new platform! I’m so excited for the things to come your way… And hopefully if I can be of help to you, I’d love the chance to talk to you.
Anyways. I’ve been thinking a lot about how much the world has changed between 2000 to now. I know that most of you reading my blogs are old enough to remember the world pre- and post-cell phone / Google / Facebook / iPhone. My iPod is now an artifact, our video games are nostalgic and re-visited in the current world, and our computers are shrinking into our hands.
Before computers magically slipped into our pockets, though, we had desktops. We listened to the musical tune of the Internet coming through the wires of our modems, waiting for an appalling amount of minutes before we were able to move anything on the screen. (As opposed to my current window of patience being less than half a second! Why shouldn’t my laptop open instantly and immediately connect itself to WiFi??)
We clustered ourselves around one desk, looking at the screens together; we had to wait in order to access the world connected to us by tubes and wires.
And then, nearly overnight, the speed of the Internet doubled, quadrupled, tripped over itself to be faster and faster. And we made our computers newer, shinier, smaller (and more expensive) to keep up.
However, our fleshy brains and hearts and bodies? We didn’t change them. Or at least not very quickly. Our brains are slow to adapt to most social changes, and we sometimes suffer for their lack of speed. What used to be a solitary activity, sitting at home with our computers, is now something we can do anywhere, any time. We bring our solitary wherever we go.
This was good news for an Introvert like me, who as a child (okay and also sometimes as an adult) gladly had my GameBoy Color wherever I went so that I could escape into another world.
But something few of us anticipated? That having our social life with us wherever we go… is overwhelming. And actually shuts us off from wanting to connect with others at all. Why engage with conversation, which is awkward, difficult, time-dependent, and time-consuming, when I can scroll past your picture or 5 second video and feel a blip of connection for a split second before seeing another picture of a dog and forgetting you entirely?
It’s annoying to read all those articles (okay, fine, headlines of articles, who am I kidding) that say, “Millennials are Anti-Social” or “Millennials are On Their Phones Too Much” or “Millennials Need to Unplug”.
They’re not annoying because they’re untrue, because I think all of us know that they have a point.
Rarely do I see an article written in hope of illuminating how we feel in order to connect with us; in writing criticisms with lack of understanding, it only disconnects us further.
I know we post things in hopes of connecting with others who think like themselves.
I know we scroll endlessly hoping to find something that helps us believe in life and love again.
I know we add up the likes in our minds, trying to fit them into the boxes in our minds where a kind word, hug, or smile should go.
Our phones and our social media platforms were designed with addiction in mind.
Like most addictions, the prescription for this often reads: “Stop using it then”. Some people have obviously found great benefits for letting go of our electronic crack, so absolutely building in some “away-from-phone” time is essential. I have definitely found worth in putting my phone down and frolicking in the fields for a minute or two.
Maybe it’s me and my new obsession with Brene Brown (omg she has a special on Netflix, I cannot cannot cannot wait) but my instinct tells me: we will get a hell of a lot farther if we approach this with more understanding and less shame.
Yes, by all means, put our phones down and make us interact and struggle with the real world. But while we’re on them, my suggestion is this: be intentional about how you use it.
Intend to connect with others.
Intend to do what you’re doing, write what you’re writing, post what you’re posting. Setting yourself in a mindset really does wonders for how your days go. For instance, if you’re on Instagram, send a message to your friend about the thing that they posted. Even if it’s short. It’s personal, meaningful, and it creates a two-way street out of the social media highway that makes a special place for you and them.
“The addiction starts when we lose the ability to choose.”
Whenever I catch myself scrolling, I started asking myself, “Do I want to do this right now?” And sometimes I say, “Yes!” so I keep going - and I mean, be honest with yourself. If the answer is “no” then you know your intention. And maybe you won’t stop right away, but your body and mind really desperately want to be in sync with one another. It’ll do anything to maintain or return to equilibrium. So if you create a bit of a ripple of dissonance, you may actually find yourself putting the phone down to do something else you really intend to do.
