All of January is for Reset
Themes from therapy in January often center around the pressure of what a new year brings. Every individual is different, but when it comes to feelings of guilt or shame, we can experience them very similarly to each other. “Will this year be like last year?”, “Am I going to actually make the changes I want to make?”, “Is everyone passing me in life?”, “Am I running out of time for the things I want to do or be?” I feel the same echoes of my own versions of these questions too. It’s so human to belong. When we see others on social media or even in real life and we compare ourselves to others’ wins and successes, we can often feel behind and struggling if we try to measure ourselves this way.
Another theme in January is often exhaustion. We are so tired. Fall can be intensely busy and fast-paced for many; September-December is an onslaught of holidays, events, starting school, and/or business projects. Getting to January can feel like dragging yourself over the finish line only to realize another marathon is starting. If you feel pushed to make new year’s resolutions, start fresh, and feel energized and motivated by January 1, then most likely you will experience disappointment or shame.
I married into a Chinese family, which means I have the honor of joining their Lunar New Year celebrations. Growing up, I didn’t have a community around me that celebrated so it was quite a relief to realize that there were two opportunities to bring in a new year. China has celebrated the new year on the cycles of the new moon for over 4000 years. When I took a step back to realize that I am part of such a long-standing tradition (and that many of my ancestors were also Chinese migrants to the Philippines), I felt even more reason to be connected to something as vast as this.
This permission to connect to the world’s history has also allowed me to listen to my body and the seasons, ancient in their own right. In the U.S. and definitely California, January is a cold month—often the coldest within the year. When our bodies are cold, our blood needs to be prioritized to our major organs. This means that our extremities, hands and feet, will feel cold as our core holds the heat needed to keep us alive, which is done through a process called vasoconstriction. Our bodies require us to focus on conserving energy and going towards heat.
Staying busy can feel like keeping warm. We make lots of plans, we tell ourselves we are going to make changes, and we say ‘this is the year’ and we try to generate hope for our shiny new future. However, without listening to ourselves and accurately assessing where we are now, we can often make plans that don’t align with our resources and stumble when we try to fly.
This year, 2025, I am taking the month of January to reset and I encourage my clients and all of you to do the same. Even if work starts and school picks up, mentally and emotionally, let’s all start by noticing where we are and how far we’ve come. Let the month be your space to breathe in the aromas of your favorite warm drink, hold your heart where there is grief and sorrow, appreciate the tenacity it took to get to the present day, and start anew with what you truly need and want.
Lunar New Year is January 29, 2025. Let’s reset together until then :)
